Okay guys, I've been meaning to post this correspondence for about a month, but been traveling too much for work, and just haven't had the time. I was planning to edit the conversation into something coherent, but I finally just thought WTF, just let guys see the whole show. I do admit that I am very hard on the parties at the Gramercy Duplex. And, yes I think they generally suck. I've had REALLY bad experiences there, and so have many friends: from leaving after 10-20 minutes because too many dudes were out of shape (when the party had been promoted as hot, muscle guys)and not being offered my money back; groped and harassed by old men; too much bare-backing; and generally just not my crowd. Now, by no means are the parties there the worse in the city--oh, man, no: some parties are downright disgusting (to me)--but I think the Gramercy Duplex parties pissed me off for two reasons: #1. They used to be good and HUGE, which was really fun; #2. Many parties are often promoted for hot guys, when in reality, the hosts have open door policies.
That said, I can be a huge bitch if you ask me about Gramercy. In fact, except for ONE friend, I don't know anyone who goes there anymore--because they have no idea what they'll get when they walk in. For example a pal went to ROCK SOLID, which was said to be filled with jocks. It wasn't. He said why should I pay to get in to see guys I wouldn't let fuck me for money. So, that's the basic story. Sad too. Anyway, I used to be very friendly with the guy who runs the place, but as the parties there started to suck, I stoped going to parties there -- so we stopped talking and soon stopped emailing back and forth. Anyway, I was excited to see his email "DK" pop up in my email, even though I knew it wouldn't be good. Well, here's what he had to say...
"(Sunday, May 15, 2011). My dearest evan..... I've been once again informed by several people that the Gramercy and my parties are being attacked in your blog, it is what it is with you, don’t expect your hatred and resentment towards me to change, however, i do want to clear one point up, since you have a habit of posting your thoughts and assume it makes it a fact.......
Everyone knows there are several A4A profiles and email addresses used to promote my daytime and friday parties, no big secret or mystery to it, behind those profiles are various friends and staff members hired to operate as "booking agents" to take care on the promotional work on that particular site ( way too busy with the daily running of my duplex to take care of it myself) and at one time actually had over 20 profiles advertising my parties, a marketing strategy i have yet to see anyone else accomplish, all of them hot, in shape, various ages and body types, very friendly with great personalities, and a joy to meet in person during the actual parties. Its very simple, every person they recruit who attends the party they get a percentage of the door, the more guys attend the more cash they make for that night, and in these economic times its a great way to help out these individuals who i care deeply about with some extra cash, so to answer your question as to who i think im fooling the answer is NO ONE, because its not me in those profiles, never claimed it was, the boys are pushing individual themed-parties under the EDGE EVENT which now defines my parties.....its my choice and right as a host to decide what kind of party i want .......... and if it should be an entirely unique and different approach from all the other nyc parties in how a venue is marketed and recruited for then so be it, i dont want you being "disturbed" over this matter.
Now that its been explained to you, i want you to put out the word that i'm looking for new "booking agents" to create new A4A profiles starting in June, several of my regulars are going away for the summer months so i am looking to bring in new talent and will be sending out an email of my own, the new profiles will be tailored to their individual personalities and tastes, the new guts will be given the standard text to send out with the party info signed by them, and its a great way for them to make some extra cash on a weekly basis, and once again, with the economy being what it is, i enjoy helping people out and making a difference in their lives. Have them send their stats, a clear shirtless pic from the waist up including face, and their phone number to my email address so i can discuss the details and schedule interviews with them.
And one final note, not even going to address your personal attacks on the quality of the men who attend my parties, you're going to continue to do so, even though it has drastically changed over the past several months now and a party for primarily fit men in their 30's and 40's, with some exceptions allowed for 20's and early 50's, never claimed was hosting a jock only party for guys looking for perfection, no interest in that, and everyone who attends has seen it and know what its all about.
Its sunday afternoon, just enjoy the day, and enjoy your life, and let go of all that constant negative energy.......you might actually surprise yourself...... all my best........ dimitri :)"
Well, I never said he wasn't a charmer, right? Regardless of whether or not he posts those A4A parties listings -- I still think it's misleading to post parties for twinks, muscle guys, jocks, and then just throw all the groups together in one party with anyone on his regular lists -- which was what happened at every party that I or friends attended. Anyway, here's my response. Nice, right?
"Hey Dimitri, Contrary to what you think, I have nothing against you. In fact, I've had many long talks with you when I attended your parties, and think that you are a nice guy. My problem is that guys complain to me that your parties are promoted as "for muscular guys" and when they show up the average age of guys is 60, and they are out of shape. Also guys complain (to me) that you have many different listing -- for twinks, raw, muscular, kink, and end up just throwing all the parties together. Guys just want to be clear what they are getting.
I was a HUGE fan of your parties as you know and used to go all the time, as far back as when they were in that apt a block up on Lex. Also the first parties at the Duplex were HUGE, and very fun. The last one I went to was gross and filled with OLD out-shape dudes. A few friends of mine went to parties at your place and they had to leave because they were harasses by aggressive old guys -- and I've heard this story many times.
Seriously, if your parties were like they once were, or if you were clear which parties were for hot guys, old guys, average guys, etc - I would be your biggest fan. I am very friendly with many host who don't have just hot guy parties, but they are very clear with who will be there Is that fair?
Anyway that said, you can give any kind of party you want, god bless you, but I am just going to report on what guys are getting if they go. If you want me to post something on my blog from you, I am more than happy to do so, just let me know. --Evan"
It was a busy day on my email, as he responded with a long essay...
"hello again.... sorry to bother you again, just wanted to respond and clear some things up.......
I remember the friday parties back then, yes it was an entirely different event, sometimes hosting 150-200 guys in one crazy night, however, I know you have a good idea of the number of events booked over the duplex ( actually more then your aware of because they have nothing to do with the gay sex party venue-many outside interests) and so now its become over time a 24/7 operation, which takes so much work and time devoted to running several bookings a day that my friday parties on purpose became smaller and easier to manage.
Starting last january the friday parties became EDGE EVENTS, which you know all about because you would get the weekly invites with everyone else stating which differently-themed groups were combined for that specific friday, INK, DETENTION, BLUE COLLAR, etc...... and the guys were clear on what they were getting because it was spelled out clearly, not only twinks, muscle, older, etc, but a COMBINED group, however, as we know in nyc, not everyone who says there going to attend do, and so sometimes there was a bigger turnout from one or two groups and lesser turnout from some of the others....it is what it is and it was what it was, and so much for past history as they say.....
Now the friday parties have a more strict door policy, the doormen make sure everyone enters shirtless to insure the quality of the event, and unfortunately the ones who do not measure up are turned away ( which i'm now getting hate mail from the 80% of the original members who were told not to return over the last 4 months saying i shouldn't turn all these guys away because i'm not attracted to them and will one day i'll get old myself and not be able to attend my open party, etc.... (you get the idea) and have made a serious attempt to get the right mix of young hot guys to average guys to rugged masculine men back together.....it takes alot of work but it is being done, endless guys have commented on how drastically different the friday parties are now and am very pleased with the outcome ( your friends who stop by and expect jock parties like james and poor aaron's are not going to find it, as ive always said thats not what i want, there will always be men in their 40's and 50's there, hot and in shape- what you write about 60 year old men there is just not the case, men come up and say "do know what Evan wrote about you? its not even this party," and i respond "I know, I know" with a nod of my head, "nothing i can do about it" and go on running friday night with my favorite saying "it is what it is" ...... and some point you should stop by again and see it and judge for yourself, not rely on the kids who report to you.
As for the aggressive men not taking NO for an answer, yes, there were two incidents i was made aware of, and once i was made aware of it i spoke to the individual and took care of the matter, im sure that happens at all the parties from time to time, including the ones over at paddles, gallery, omega, etc....an unfortunate party of this venue sometimes, but you wrote it out as if the only space in nyc that someone will get unwanted advances is mine, when it certainly happens at the other parties and yet no one is reporting it back to you so you can broadcasted it on your blog.
And finally about the lunch groups, i want to take a minute to explain something..... as you know the downtown mens group is no longer at my space, i wanted to create a 3 day block for the daytime parties (tuesday wednesday thursday) they had the wendesday slot, for some time i had asked him to work together with me so they could be included in the new venue, instead they decided to leave and go back to wall street.....for over a year now my lunch group was on thursdays, in april i expanded it to wendesdays, instant huge success, and now expanded it to tuesdays..... you have to remember my people are used to coming on thursdays, wednesdays took off instantly, but as of today, there have only been two past tuesday lunches, this coming tuesday will be the third.... instead of everyone having only one day to stop by, they had two, and now three options, slitting the group in three, and that will temporally affect the attendance numbers on all three days.......its to be expected....... it takes time...... all three will grow....... especially with the booking agents working hard to push those daytime groups on A4A, ......... and so i have nothing against the individual who submitted his tuesday lunch review over this weekend, he doesn’t know the dynamics of what's taking place, yes, there were 20 something men in attendance, but he should come back in a month or two and see what its like..... ( also, not sure if you know this but the daytime men play differently then the nighttime men, then come in quickly, get off, and leave sometimes in 20 minutes, heading back to the office, so never is the full turnout there at one time) and those that attended the startup tuesday lunch these last two weeks were told they could get in free for the wednesday and thursday lunches which do go past 40 men sometimes, so they wouldn’t feel cheated......i have always wanted everyone to feel happy and not taken advantage of when they leave my parties.....
I am not out to just make a "buck," ....... I've been judged by all of nyc, everyone has an opinion of me and my duplex home, good and bad, but this venue means more to me then most people realize, i take great pride in what I’ve created, and the sacrifices it took to keep it going, true the space is not for everyone, those that want the atmosphere of the dark commercial spaces are not going to like my duplex, limited with it being too clean, plush carpet, fireplace, rules about gum and shoes, etc, but its my vision of a house party, and yet i have to find a way to have it operate to accommodate everyone’s needs, been told i am too gracious and generous, not only my party guests but with the promoters who use the space, but thats just how i am, was never out to hurt or take advantage of anyone, just wanted to create a safe comfortable environment and family structure for myself and those involved...... so i would appreciate if you corrected the numbers of the lunch attendance for wednesday and thursday postings which do hit , and if you like you mention that the tuesday lunch is a recent development and that is in the process of growing past 20 men........just want a fair posting on your blog...... dimitri."
Well, dudes it's up to if you want to give him and his parties another shot. The only one that I've heard good things about was the MUSCLE JOCK NEW YORK PARTY. If you have anything to report on the Friday night parties, I'm happy to hear it. Have fun guys and play safe...
Also they have a new website that spells it all out, Check it out here: http://www.hotgaysexpartiesnyc.com.
"FORBIDDEN PLEASURES: a night dedicated to the aesthetics of hedonism"
