Cock-Tail Conversation: From Hard Drive to HandsomeNYC.com

One of the things newcomers to the NYC sex party scene may find surprising is how social many of them can be. The days of getting off with shadowy strangers in dark corners has been giving way in the past couple of years to parties where guys actually talk and connect, or even (gasp) get to know each other’s names before they get down and dirty together. I mentioned a few weeks ago in my post about safe sex parties (that you can read here) that this sort of intimate connection often times leads to more and hotter sex at these parties. So I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that more parties are getting social. PRIVATE PARTY and ASS ACTION FUCK CLUB have always been known for their friendly social atmosphere, but now other parties are beginning to emphasize social interaction along with all the fucking and sucking. Some of the more recent examples include the new-ish 20:20 party and the change from Hard Drive to HANDSOMENYC.COM.  

Personally I really enjoy getting to know my fellow party-goers and have made quite a few quality friends (and yes, “friends with benefits”)  during my group-sexcapades. At some recent parties I have actually found the conversations to be just as stimulating as the sex . I realize that this “style” of parties that is emerging may not be everyone’s cup of tea and there are those of you who will always prefer the more anonymous encounters. Thankfully this is New York City where there are always options for people with all different tastes.

One of the nice things about this trend toward more social parties is that it gives party-goers a chance to get to know their hosts better. The atmosphere or “vibe” at a party is often dictated by, or an extension of, the personalities of the hosts, which is why the parties themselves can have their own personalities. And this could be one of the reasons why each of you will have your own set of favorite and less favorite parties depending on which ones have a personality that is compatible with your own. Or, if you are anything like me, you will have the parties you like to go to when you are in the mood for some dark dungeony anon fun (I do find “sleazy” sexy at times) and you will have other parties you like to go to if you are in the mood for something more relaxing or playful, like the main subject of tonight’s post.   

When host Hunteur informed me that he was changing his Wednesday evening Hard Drive party to HandsomeNYC.com, I asked if he would be interested in being interviewed regarding the change. He was game, so now I am sharing our exchange with you as the first entry of what I’m hoping will be an occasionally reoccurring series, “Cock-Tale Conversations” where  I will be conversing via email with hosts about what they do, why they do it, and what we are overhearing people talk about out in Partyland. 

A: Hello Hunteur, thank you for agreeing to this mini-interview. I’ve had many good times at your Hard Drive party over the years. How is HandsomeNYC.com different from Hard Drive?

H: HandsomeNYC.com is a more social event. So many parties out there are doing the mega sleaze thing, which is fine. Personally I felt it was time for me to create something different, something with a sense of community. We cater to good-looking upscale professional dudes who want more than just a place to fuck. Sex, healthcare, art, creativity, community. A place where you can go and it’s more than just about sex, it’s about connection with wonderful, quality guys and erotic fun.

A: What inspired the change?

H: Change is really the only constant in the universe. I would not want to be doing the same things that I was doing at 20. I would be cheating myself out of “possibility”. God, I have been doing this for 15 years. I have to keep things interesting, Just even for me. I also have to respond to the changing needs and tastes of our guys.

A: Why the ".com" in the party title?

H: Just easier to do graphics I guess.

A: Do you have a particular vision for what you would like to see HandsomeNYC.com become or develop into?

H: Yes! We always have incorporated fashion shows, art installation, dress up/cosplay. I would like to bring back the days of The Lure/Mother and all those great venues that were a combination of sex, art, creativity and crazy freedom. A place to be your freaky little self and we will love you for it. In June my good friend and artist from DC Tony Dortch will be coming in and we will have a night where people will be body painted and gold leafed as characters in his current graphic novel. I want to develop more of that sexy fun.

A: As long as I have known of your parties, there has always been some element of public health awareness integrated into them. When did you start doing this and what inspired you to do so?

H: When I started my events I had in the back of my mind the thought that I may be providing a forum that may ultimately do harm to people, we have all seen nightlife eat people up. I was lucky enough to be introduced to Dr. Demetre and we both had a vision for nightlife where you can go and get tested for STDs and leave with lifetime healthcare for free if you needed it. That is when we installed a permanent medical office in the club. Our aim is never to push or shame people into using our medical services. As adults your life choices are always respected and encouraged. I added referral services for people who may question that substance abuse may be a problem in their lives. We just added a Parachute Program for people who are going through a difficult emotional time in their lives. It puts you in touch with a team of experts that can offer help no matter what the issue is. We genuinely care about our guys and about our community as a whole. It’s important.

A: Do you have any other parties you currently host?

H: Just added a Monday Night at Rainbow Playground in Astoria. The space is amazing and they improve it all the time and has really come a long way in the past year and I am excited to see where it leads HandsomeNYC.com.

A: Thank you Hunteur for taking the time to satisfy my (and I’m sure others’) curiosity about your new party. I look forward to checking it out.

H: Thanks for this opportunity to express my vision for HandsomeNYC.com, it’s much appreciated.

You can find more information on HandsomenNYC.com at...you guessed it... HandsomeNYC.com. His next parties are this week on Monday, May 19th in Astoria and on Wednesday, May 21st in Chelsea. Check this week's listings for details. 

Any additional questions for Hunteur or thoughts on the new HandsomeNYC.com? Email me at adventuresingrsx@gmail.com or leave a comment below.

See you there men!