Next Magazine: Always wanted to try a sex party?

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The Life of the Party
Photographer Joe Oppedisano takes fetish fashion below the bible’s belt
Always wanted to try a sex party? From the kinky to the vanilla, find one that’s right for you

One of the best things about living in Manhattan is that you can get whatever you want any time you want it. Sex parties are no exception to the rule. Many people know that they exist, but don’t know where to find them or are too nervous to actually try one out. So we’re taking the mystery out of some of the city’s hottest parties. Though we’re keeping the locations secret (most of them are selective about who they invite) here’s everything you ever wanted to know. Now go out and play safe, kids.

• New York Jock PartyWhere: Hell’s KitchenWhen: Once or twice a month, usually on Fridays. Starts at 10pmHow to get invited: Email NYJockParty@yahoo.comNumber of Guys: About 80
This party is like a night at a bar in Chelsea on fast-forward. Muscular, attractive guys abound (all in their underwear or less, thanks to the mandatory clothes check) but there’s also a lot of attitude. Held in what seems to be a two-floor residence with hanging curtains to separate the space and beds, benches and couches for the action, the whole event is very organized. There are usually more guys standing around watching or waiting for something better to come along than actually getting it on, but if you want a night full of the city’s hottest guys ripe for the picking, this is the place to go.

• Happy LandingWhere: BrooklynWhen: Every couple of monthsHow to get invited: Email: HappyLandingHQ@gmail.comNumber of Guys: About 100 (including girls)
like a scene from John Cameron Mitchell’s film Shortbus, Happy Landing is a Brooklyn queer art/music/sex party. Held in a secret warehouse basement, the party’s patrons are greeted with a bright neon wonderland (the walls are literally covered in neon-painted junk) where DJs spin, liquor flows and boys and girls (yes, vagina) roam around in various states of undress. While the winding backroom maze features a mattress and a sling, the atmosphere is more hipster social than dirty dungeon. Plus, the sliding scale admission ($0–$20) and the pay-what-you-can bar means those without funds aren’t turned away.

• New York By NightWhere: Garment DistrictWhen: Once a month, usually the first Tuesday or Sunday of the month starting at 8:30pmHow to get invited: Email RBN33@MSN.comNumber of Guys: About 60
While the vetting process for an invitation—a telephone and pre-party, in-person interview with host Richard—may seem like a bit much, it really helps add to the social and inclusive atmosphere of the party. Held in a large loft apartment and attended mostly by handsome men over thirty and a few hot young bucks, the party invokes a sense of camaraderie that is rare at these sorts of soirées. People socialize before and after the action (and during “rests”) and the play tends to include a number of people rather than pairs heading off into their separate corners. This makes New York By Night the closest thing there is to an actual orgy, but you wouldn’t think that giving the civilized vibe of the affair.

• New York Bondage ClubWhere: ChelseaWhen: Every Sunday from 6pm–10pmHow to get invited: Visit NYBondageClub.comNumber of Guys: About 30
This isn’t a real sex party, since no sex is allowed, but you will find plenty of guys being manually stimulated (yes, hand jobs are fine) while tied up or bound in all sorts of contraptions. Held in a straight S&M club, the party scene includes cages, restraints, bondage crosses, stocks and all sorts of devices to aid in tying people up and getting them off. Most guys remain fully or partially clothed and the fun of the party is watching various bondage scenes unfold. Of course, you could be asked (or rather, ordered) to participate, but if you weren’t looking to be on the receiving end of a rope burn, you wouldn’t be in attendance now, would you…

• Grab AssWhere: ChelseaWhen: Every Wednesday from 8pm–1amHow to get invited: Visit CumMonkey.comNumber of Guys: About 20
Held in a discreet but easy-to-find Chelsea play space, the Grab Ass party is as close as you’ll get to an old-fashioned sex club, but with a new twist: it operates on a “harm reduction” platform, offering confidential, rapid-results HIV testing on the premises so that participants can know their status before the fun starts (or even during). Not surprisingly, safe sex is encouraged and condoms and lube are readily available in the several rooms and dark hallways of the club. The men tend to be on the older side, but there is good racial diversity and a number of sexy younger gentlemen of color.

• West Side ClubWhere: Chelsea/Union SquareWhen: 24/7How to get invited: Just show up, or visit WestSideClubNYC.comNumber of Guys: Varies
The West Side Club, and its sister site, the East Side Club, are the closest things that New York still has to a traditional bathhouse. Visitors pay for a membership (either temporary or otherwise) and either a locker or a more spacious “changing room.” Towels are provided so you can cruise the clean and well-kept two floors on your way to the showers—or somewhere else. What the crowd is like depends on the time of day and day of the week, but a recent Friday night saw about 50 guys hanging out, many of whom were quite attractive and frisky. There is often on-site HIV testing administered by professionals, but the club’s staff could stand to be a bit friendlier.